Faux feeling
Feelings
A field guide to feelings and the faux feelings that hide them. Start from what it is like inside, and find the word.
1. Notice
Where is it in your body, and how strong is it?
2. Find the family
Pick the region that fits, then the step on its scale.
3. Find the need
Each feeling points to needs that are met or not met.
/
No feelings match your search.
Warm and open
Safe, connected and open to the world and other people.
Warm
Feelings that reach towards other people: affection, care, closeness, gratitude and the glow of being cared for.
friendly → adoring 20
Glad
Lightness and joy, from a quiet gladness up to elation, plus the fun of laughter and play.
glad → elated 15
Curious
Attention drawn outwards to the world: openness, interest, absorption and wonder.
alert → awed 15
Strong
Standing on firm ground and facing forward: confidence, courage, pride and hope.
capable → triumphant 14
Settled
Still and safe at the same time: rest without fear.
Calm
Settledness: ease in the body, quiet in the mind, relief, contentment and feeling safe.
comfortable → serene 15
Playful
Energised and safe at the same time: lively, eager and free.
Alive
Energy and appetite: feeling charged, refreshed, excited, free or drawn to someone.
rested → passionate 20
Revved up
Mobilised to act: bracing, pushing back or getting away.
Thrown
Knocked off balance: by the unexpected, by not understanding or by not being able to choose.
puzzled → stunned 17
Fear
Sensing danger: from a flicker of unease through worry and fright to terror, plus wariness and feeling exposed.
concerned → terrified 19
Strained
Stirred up and under strain: bodily tension, mounting pressure and being knocked into upset.
restless → distraught 18
Anger
Pushing back against what gets in the way or crosses a line: irritation, anger, indignation and resentment.
displeased → vengeful 15
Disgust
Pulling away from something that feels wrong, tainted or beneath regard, from mild distaste to loathing.
averse → loathing 9
Frozen
Charged but held: energy that has nowhere to go.
Shut down
Heavy, slowed and withdrawn: loss, defeat and running low.
Sorrow
The heaviness of loss and hurt: sadness, heartache, grief and loneliness.
down → desolate 20
Deflated
When hope or effort drains away: disappointment, discouragement, despair and powerlessness.
dissatisfied → despairing 15
Flat
Running low on energy, interest or feeling: tiredness, boredom and numbness.
sleepy → shut down 19
Faux feelings
Thoughts dressed as feelings: 98 words to translate.
abandoned, abused… 98
Faux feelings
Something done to me
Words that describe what I believe another person did to me or for me, or how they regard me (betrayed, ignored; appreciated, respected). Whether I welcome it or not, it is my reading of their action: the word fits ‘you ___ed me’ (you abandoned me, you respected me).
AbandonedAbusedAdmiredAttackedBelittledBetrayedBlamedBoxed inBulliedCared forChampionedCheatedCherishedChosenCoercedControlledCorneredCriticisedDiscountedDiscreditedDislikedDisrespectedDistrustedDumped onForgivenHarassedHassledHonouredHumiliatedIgnoredIncludedInsultedInterruptedIntimidatedInvalidatedIsolatedLeft outLet downLikedManipulatedMisunderstoodNeededNeglectedOffendedOppressedOverpoweredOverworkedPatronisedPraisedPressuredProtectedProvokedPut downRejectedRespectedRipped offScapegoatedSmotheredSpecialTaken for grantedThreatenedTrampledTrickedTrustedUnderstoodUnwantedUsedValidatedValuedVictimisedVilifiedVindicatedViolatedWantedWronged
A judgement of myself
Words that rate or label me, low or high (stupid, worthless; smart, worthy). They describe what I think I am, not how I feel.
A need dressed up as a feeling
Words built on a need, said as missing (‘un-’ or ‘not’: unheard, unsupported) or as had (heard, supported). They name the need and whether I think it is met, so the feeling underneath still has to be found.