Faux feeling Something done to me
Bullied
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you are using your power to frighten me or push me around.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Bullied is a claim about power: that someone is using theirs to frighten you or push you around. It may name a real pattern worth taking seriously, and it is still an account of their behaviour. Turning to what you feel, often afraid, angry or helpless, can make it easier to ask for the help you need.
Feelings underneath
Needs
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel bullied.’
When you stood over my desk and said I would be off the team if I didn’t stay late again, I felt afraid and helpless, because I need safety and respect.