Faux feeling Something done to me
Manipulated
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you are steering me with hidden tactics instead of asking me openly.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Manipulated accuses someone of steering you with hidden tactics rather than asking openly. It reads intentions you cannot see directly, so it is a judgement about them. Behind that judgement there may be anger, fear or a helpless sense of not knowing what is real, and those can be said without the accusation.
Feelings underneath
Needs
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel manipulated.’
When you told me the offer would close tonight and I saw it was still open on Friday, I felt angry and frustrated, because I need honesty and trust.