Faux feeling Something done to me
Abused
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as tortured
‘I think you harmed me or treated me in a way nobody should be treated.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Abused names serious harm and points to the person who caused it. It can be an accurate account of what happened, yet it describes their conduct rather than your inner state. Naming what you felt, perhaps afraid, hurt or angry, can help others understand and help you find the support you need.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel abused.’
When you took my bank card and told me I would get money only if I did what you said, I felt afraid and hurt, because I need safety and support.