Faux feeling Something done to me
Humiliated
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as shamed
‘I think you lowered me in front of others.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Humiliated carries a story about the other person: that they lowered you, often in front of others. ‘You humiliated me’ sits easily, so the word describes what you believe was done, not your inner state. The feelings in that moment are usually sharp and specific: mortified, ashamed, sometimes angry.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel humiliated.’
When you read my message aloud to the whole table and laughed, I felt mortified and angry, because I need dignity and respect.