Faux feeling Something done to me
Validated
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you are telling me my experience or view is real and counts.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Validated describes something you believe another person did: confirmed that your experience is real and that it counts. Like ‘you validated me’, it is an interpretation of their response. The feelings behind it are often relief, calm or gratitude at not having to argue your case.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs are met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel validated.’
When I described the noise from next door and you said ‘that sounds exhausting, no wonder you can’t sleep’, I felt relieved and calm, because I need acknowledgement and understanding.