Faux feeling Something done to me
Forgiven
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you have stopped holding what I did against me.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Forgiven describes a change you believe has happened in someone else: they no longer hold what you did against you. You cannot feel another person’s forgiveness directly, only your response to it. That response is often relief, gratitude, lightness or a renewed sense of closeness.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs are met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel forgiven.’
When you hugged me and said, ‘Let’s put the argument behind us’, I felt relieved and grateful, because I need acceptance and peace.