Faux feeling Something done to me
Controlled
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as dominated, micromanaged
‘I think you’re deciding things for me that are mine to decide.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Saying you feel controlled is a way of saying someone is making decisions that are yours to make. That points at their behaviour, and swapping in ‘I think’ changes nothing. The body often knows something more specific: frustration, a slow-building resentment, tension across the shoulders.
Feelings underneath
Needs
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel controlled.’
When you cancelled the doctor’s appointment I had made and booked a different one for me, I felt frustrated and resentful, because I need autonomy and choice.