Faux feeling Something done to me
Neglected
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as uncared for
‘I think you have not given me the care or attention I needed.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Neglected is a verdict on someone’s care: that they have not given you the attention or looking after you needed. ‘You neglected me’ is the shape of it, which marks it as a reading of their actions. Beneath that verdict there is often loneliness and hurt, and sometimes fear about whether you matter to them.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel neglected.’
When I mentioned my back pain three times this week and each time you changed the subject, I felt hurt and lonely, because I need support and to matter.