Faux feeling Something done to me
Discounted
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as diminished, dismissed, minimised, trivialised
‘I think you are treating what I say or do as if it counts for less than it does.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Discounted borrows from the shop: what you said or did has been marked down, treated as worth less than it is. The marking down is something you see in another person’s response, not something in you. Your own response may be hurt, frustration, embarrassment or anger.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel discounted.’
When I suggested a route for the walk and you said, ‘Let’s see what your brother thinks’, I felt embarrassed and frustrated, because I need recognition and to matter.