Faux feeling Something done to me
Taken for granted
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you count on what I do without noticing or valuing it.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Taken for granted is a claim about what others notice: that they rely on what you do without seeing it. It is a reading of their attention, and they might say they notice more than they show. Beneath it there tends to be sadness, disappointment or a slow build of resentment.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel taken for granted.’
When I cooked dinner every night this week and nobody mentioned it, I felt sad and resentful, because I need appreciation and recognition.