Faux feeling Something done to me
Violated
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
‘I think you crossed a boundary that was mine to set.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Violated claims that someone crossed a line that was yours to draw. It fits ‘you violated me’, and it describes their act as you understand it, often in the strongest terms. Because the word carries so much, the specific feelings can get lost inside it: shock, anxiety, anger, sadness.
Feelings underneath
Needs
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel violated.’
When I came back from the shower and you were scrolling through the messages on my phone, I felt shocked and angry, because I need privacy and safety.