Faux feeling Something done to me
Put down
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as mocked, ridiculed, scorned
‘I think you are making me out to be less than I am.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Put down says someone has lowered you, made you smaller in front of others or in your own eyes. It answers to ‘you put me down’, so it is an account of their behaviour and of what you suspect they meant by it. What stings is usually embarrassment or hurt, sometimes anger too.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel put down.’
When you laughed and said ‘typical, can’t even read a map’ in front of our friends, I felt embarrassed and hurt, because I need respect and dignity.