Faux feeling Something done to me
Used
Not a feeling: a thought about what someone did.
Also known as co-opted
‘I think you took advantage of me for your own ends.’
Why it’s not a feeling
Used is a charge about motive: that someone treated you as a means to their own ends. It fits ‘you used me’, and it assumes you know why they did what they did. Underneath the charge there is usually resentment, anger, hurt or sadness.
Feelings underneath
Needs
When these needs aren’t met
Saying it as a feeling
‘I feel used.’
When you asked me to proofread your application three times this month and didn’t reply when I asked for help moving house, I felt resentful and hurt, because I need mutuality and consideration.